Living a life of mediocrity

 At the moment I’m reading ‘Empowered Autism Parenting’ by William Stillman. It is a very uplifting book and reinforces my own convictions about my daughter and her unique place in the world. I’ve read so many disheartening books on Autism of late that it was quite enlightening to read a positive one for a change (one book ‘Challenged Parents, Challenged Kids’ still makes me cringe). Stillman offers hope and real-world information for parents of children with autism, dispelling the myths about high-cost therapies and medications.

One thing that has been troubling me of late, which Stillman brought up, is the conviction of many therapists to discourage ‘obsessions’ or what I would refer to as special interests in autistic children and young adults. According to a therapy I started a couple of months ago (based on building relationships), obsessions/interests are seen as obstacles to remediation as they often block the child’s availability to consider something new or to seek out experiences with people in their world. According to the advocates of this therapy, without remediation the child would otherwise lead a life of marginalisation and failure. Some parents have gone as far as pulling their autistic child out of computer science classes, probably the only place that child feels he truly fits in. This has some merit as no parent wants their child glued to the computer screen to the exception of all else, including developing healthy peer relationships. But how far do we go?

Temple Grandin has often written about this topic. Whilst the therapy above talks about focusing on the child’s weaknesses, Grandin speaks about the need to build on a child's strengths. With high unemployment for ASD adults there is a need to ensure that we don't snuff out any possibility they may have a marketable skill, she writes. Grandin herself is a prime example of this. Similarly, Stillman writes, “when we value passions instead of labelling them obsessions (unless they seriously impair a person’s quality of life), we are better poised to envision a creative blueprint of possibilities for the future … these may include higher education or self-employment opportunities.”

Behind every successful sportsperson or artist was a childhood 'obsession' or passion. Professional footballers didn’t suddenly become great sportsmen at the age of eighteen. No, they probably ate, slept and breathed football throughout their entire childhoods to become the success they are today. How many well-known writers you know who talk about childhoods scribbling away by torchlight at night when the rest of the household had long gone to bed. Imagine if Hemingway, Kipling, Dickens or Austen were discouraged from writing as young adults. So why should Autistics be discouraged from their special interests to live a life of mediocrity? Stillman writes that we all engage in activities which allow us to experience satisfaction or pride, they are called hobbies. “But wait”, he writes, “how come you can have a hobby, but I, as someone with Asperger’s, must have an obsession?” and seen as a “maladaptive behaviour and abnormal fixation that needs to be extinguished.” Please note, that Stillman and Grandin distinguish between passions and interests and those obsessions that may be self-harming.

My daughter just loves the water, so we often take her to the beach and pool and even to the pet shop so she can watch the fish in the massive aquariums they have. I even have an aquarium DVD and books on marine life (a fish tank is on its way). Should I be discouraging this interest? My gut instinct says no. The whole family enjoy these outings and we are making many wonderful memories sharing these experiences with her. And you never know, maybe she will grow up to be a marine biologist or ecologist.